Running to Stop the Runs, Week 2.1 - I Hate Harrisburg

Well, well, well.... After last Wednesday's declaration of domination, I got a little too cocky about my distance-running abilities. So cocky in fact, that Wednesday was the last day that week that I partook in any kind of physical activity. So, I only ran two days last week instead of the requisite four. Apparently I'm lazy and think I know my body well enough that I can prescribe a workout of boozing and couch-warming to turn myself into a (half) marathoner. I didn't workout at all and chose to sleep, drink and socialize instead of running. Don't judge me, I haven't give up!

I'm on "sabbatical" from TV right now as I look for my next job, so I came home to good ole HBG, PA for a little R and R and abbreviation abuse. Tuesday was my first run since Wednesday's awesomeness and I was excited to jaunt through my old neighborhood since jogging was definitely not a favored pastime growing up.

This is why I hate Harrisburg, or at least hate this aspect of Harrisburg. I was about 5 minutes into a one-hour run when I realized why suburban sprawl is such bullshit. THERE ARE NO SIDEWALKS!!!!! I was jogging along, listening to my Britney, when the safe, little pedestrian strip I was on decided to end and spew me out onto the shoulder of a truck-happy backroad. Seriously, this is not how Shel Silverstein described the sidewalk ending. So I ended up on the shoulder of this road, 18-wheelers flying past, and decided to turn around in search of a more people-friendly environment.

Here's the deal - I'm running 5 or 6 miles here. I can't just find a quarter mile loop to do several laps around. That's horribly boring and reason number 465,298,482 why I wasn't a distance runner in college. So, I start gallivanting through the neighborhood looking for a consistent path...but there was nothing...anywhere. I had to run through strip mall parking lots and over church lawns. I did find one path around a playground, but it led me right to an effing parking lot. Seriously, this is why our kids are fat. There is no where to run. You have to drive everywhere if you don't want your face on a fender.

It is impossibly hard to get into a rhythm when you're running to survive. Also, I don't know if it was the lack of water or abundance of Hershey's Kissables that I consumed before this run, but during the first thirty minutes every section of my abdomen decided to cramp up...at different times...for seemingly no reason (besides the aforementioned Kissables, of course). Maybe it was the stress of Survivor Jogging, but I thought I was going to throw up three or four times, and that doesn't include the times I thought it was going to come out the other end (ironic for a Crohn's run, right?). All this, coupled with the fact that my shoes are so worn down I'm practically running barefoot, and apparently all the roads here are made of steel and pain, made this an overall unpleasant experience.

Yesterday's run wasn't much better. I went through the neighborhoods to avoid traffic, but every road I took just ended up coming to a halt at someone's house. Literally - running, running, running - front door! Today is my off day, but if I'm sticking around tomorrow, I gots to find another way. I'm not leaving my spine here.

PS - I'm baby-stepping my way to my goal but I need more money. only $3400 to go. DDDDDOOOONNNNAAATTTEEE!